The Student Newspaper of Highline College

Denys’s weekly wonders: StarDate 11/9/2023

Denys Matsyuk Staff Reporter Nov 09, 2023

Eternal Reefs, the company that decided that “sleeping with the fishes” should be taken literally, is making waves in the memorialization world with their offbeat approach to honoring the dearly departed. Instead of sticking to the same old burial or cremation routine, they’ve come up with the wild idea of transforming human remains into ocean reefs. Because who wouldn’t want to give fish a chance to socialize with your great-aunt Gertrude?

Eternal Reefs, with a sense of humor as deep as the sea, has devised a peculiar method of blending human remains with eco-friendly concrete structures, creating what can only be described as underwater amusement parks for marine life. It’s like a never-ending oceanic party that lasts for generations. Not only are you commemorating your loved ones in a unique way, but you’re also providing homes for Nemo and friends.

Dr. Marina Foster, the mastermind behind this underwater extravaganza, humorously remarked, “Why should your relatives remain six feet under when they can have fish for neighbors? It’s the underwater block party they never knew they needed!”

In a world where eco-consciousness is on the rise, Eternal Reefs is riding the tide, offering an alternative that’s not only unconventional but also supports marine life conservation. Your loved ones, and even your pets, can now enjoy a celebrity status under the sea, all while helping to protect our oceans. 

In case you’re wondering about the price tags, here they are:

Aquarius Eternal Reef

Approximately 2′ high by 3′ wide

observer.com

Sarasota’s Eternal Reefs honors lost submariners

550-700 lbs.

Designed for one person and a family pet

Price: $5,000

Nautilus Eternal Reef

Approximately 3′ high by 3′ wide

1500-1800 lbs.

Can accommodate up to two sets of remains

Price: $6,000

Mariner Eternal Reef

Approximately 4′ high by 5’6″ wide

3800-4000 lbs.

Can accommodate up to four sets of remains

Price: $9,000

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