Netflix’s limited series “Baby Reindeer”, written by and starring Richard Gadd is a version of his own real-life experience with a crazed serial stalker. While stalking is the core element of the show, the deeper and more poignant theme is the human need to be known and the consequences of the perceptions of strangers. 

Gadd portrays a fictionalized version of himself, Donny Dunn, opposite Jessica Gunning as his stalker ‘Martha’. The series is based on Gadd’s one-man stage play of the same name and with both presentations narrated by Gadd himself. 

When he first meets Martha, Gadd is working as a bartender while trying and failing to pursue his dreams of stand-up comedy. Desperate to be known by the world, Gadd finds solace in Martha who seems to see him as how he wishes to be perceived by the world, as something special. 

As their interactions continue, Martha becomes increasingly infatuated while Gadd fosters a jokingly flirty relationship with the older woman. 

Certain viewers claimed they couldn’t sympathize with Gadd because of the way he enables Martha’s delusions but the admittance of his own culpability is what makes the story so interesting and relatable for many. 

Gadd finds himself bending towards excuses for Martha’s behaviors in favor of remaining polite, a situation that’s frighteningly familiar for many. Even as the stalking invades every aspect of Gadd’s life he continues to indulge Martha out of pity for her own situation. Overly empathetic, Gadd allows his own self-destruction through his passive nature. 

He struggles with his own desire to be known by the world and the discomfort of presenting his insecurities to potential partners. Martha’s haunting presence in his life is a constant reminder of his own failings in each aspect of his life as well as a pressure to better his situation. 

A convoluted relationship born out of mental illness, self-loathing, shame, pity and ultimately loneliness on all sides, Martha and Gadd are both burdened by their own dependencies and past experiences. 

A developing issue surrounding any real-life crime activity is the presence of ‘internet sleuths’ or ‘detectives’. Fans of true crime often believe they have all the facts, or are simply smart enough to do without them all, to solve the case. Oftentimes this only results in public harassment towards innocent ‘suspects’ on social media. 

Internet detectives have long been a hindrance to real life investigations and at times defamed and ruined the lives of innocent people, see Pablo Vergara’s experience with ‘sleuths’ investigating the Eliza Lam case. 

“Baby Reindeer” and creator Richard Gadd are no stranger to this phenomenon. As the show grew in popularity many fans were curious and some even fiercely determined, to find the identity of the real-life Martha, along with the highly influential playwright character who takes advantage of Gadd prior to the stalking. 

Gadd eventually had to take to Instagram with a plea for an end to the theories. 

Necessary to take into account the singular perspective of Gadd as the storyteller and his own worldviews, “Baby Reindeer” is autobiographical and composed of human flaws. 

Strikingly vulnerable and self-aware of the perception of strangers, Richard Gadd shares his trauma with the world. With a complexity reserved for real-life individuals, Gadd examines his own guilt and damage he’s caused within his world, while processing what’s been done to him. 

Compared to a male version of the cult classic series “Fleabag”, “Baby Reindeer” is an achingly lonely, painfully self-reflectant on-screen portrayal of the worst moments of the human experience. 

In reference to the title of this article as well as another entry into human vulnerability is this classic New Yorker Opinionator that captures similar themes of loneliness and the distress of allowing strangers to know you: I Know What You Think of Me