The Student Newspaper of Highline College

Denys’s weekly wonders: StarDate 3/14/2024

Denys Matsyk Staff Reporter Mar 14, 2024

In 1970, the Iranian government wasn’t planning just any old party. No, they were gearing up for an epic bash to celebrate the remarkable 2,500-year history of the Persian Empire. They weren’t settling for mediocrity; they wanted a celebration that would make history itself raise an eyebrow.

It took them a whole year to plan a three-day extravaganza, spanning from Oct. 12 to 14, 1971. For this epic event, they did something that even Hercules would have second thoughts about – crafting a 70-meter-long (that’s a whopping 230 feet) table and a matching tablecloth big enough that it could double as a landing strip for small planes. But here’s the kicker: it took 150 women over half a year to sew that gigantic tablecloth. That’s dedication!

Now, let’s talk dollars and cents. The celebration came with a hefty price tag – approximately $120 million in 1971, which, when adjusted for inflation, is roughly equivalent to a staggering $911,967,407 today. That’s right; they spent enough money to buy a small country on a party. 

But what’s a fancy party without fancy food? The menu was more extravagant than a high-stakes drama, featuring dishes like crayfish mousse, roast lamb with truffles, quail’s eggs stuffed with caviar, and even roast peacock stuffed with foie gras. And to cleanse the palate, they served a sorbet of vieux champagne [Moët 1911]. All this was prepared by the culinary wizards at Maxim’s of Paris.

However, not everything went off without a hitch. The Shah (which means king in Persian for those who don’t know) had the peculiar idea of importing about 50,000 birds for the event, but sadly, these feathery guests didn’t survive the desert climate. It seems the Shah may have overlooked the fact that birds aren’t exactly built for fancy soirées.

The guest list was nothing short of a who’s-who of global VIPs, including Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom, Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia, and a slew of kings, emirs, and sheiks that even the fanciest bingo night couldn’t match.

But the real mystery? The Blackfeet Nation, an American Indian tribe from Montana, somehow found their way to the shindig. And while this Persian party will go down in the annals of history, it’s worth noting that it didn’t quite change the course of Iranian politics.

Just eight years later, in 1979, there was a revolution that led to the Shah’s ousting and the establishment of an Islamic Republic under Ayatollah Khomeini. It turns out that no amount of crayfish mousse can prevent a political upheaval.

This celebration had it all. Extravagant opulence, culinary absurdity, and an eclectic guest list that could rival a UN assembly. It’s a reminder that sometimes, even the grandest of galas can’t stop the winds of change from blowing.

In Persian the celebration was called “دوهزار و پانصدمین سال بنیانگذاری شاهنشاهی ایران” how to say it phonetically “Dow-hazaar oo pan-sad-omin saal ben-yaan-goz-aari shaa-han-shaa-hee eer-aan.” Translated this means: Two thousand and five hundredth year of the foundation of the Iranian Empire.

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