Consider being single on V-Day
The Ethnic of Love - Jovien Robinson
I think too many times in college a person can forget to take care of both their body and their spirit. Every Valentine's Day we reimagine ways to express our passions for someone else, instead of honing it in for ourselves.
It obviously all starts from childhood. Those stupid cards our parents would rush to buy, or the candy some of us lucky ones would get taped onto those cards.
When I was younger I used to pray for at least a single Dum Dum on a sheet of paper, it didn't even have to be taped, it could've been haphazardly glued on with Elmer's, barely hanging on for dear life, and I would have been happy.
Well 10 years later, no candy is in sight and I am still spending Valentine's Day alone.
Though this year, it was single handedly the best I've had.
Emphasis on single, as that is exactly what I am in this stage of my life. I have been dealing with a lot of worry about relationships recently, as in should I have them and why I am tired of being single.
My dad gave me some advice on it all.
"Don't be in a relationship in college, just to be in a relationship in college."
He means that there are so many things to do in college, like exploring new and interesting careers or making lifelong friendships. Don't limit the college experience by trying to be attached at the hip with a significant other.
Yet and still, for a while I was still hoping upon all hope, to have a date lined up. It didn't matter if it was the day of, I would happily rush around all of the city to make dinner reservations, and later compare my night with my buds.
Funny enough none of my friends had dates either, though some of us made a pact to get a date for Valentine's Day, I surely wasn't the only one spending it alone.
So that brought me some comfort, but I truly didn't find my solace with not spending copious amounts of cash on one date, until I meditated a bit on my father's words.
I came to my own opinion on the subject, and he probably already knows this, but he's right. I don't have a significant other, nor the desire to commit to a long-term relationship with anyone right now.
Yet, here I am sitting on my bed, and feeling downtrodden because I don't have a thing to do on Valentine.
So I did what I suggest all of the single or non-single people out there do. I took a mental health day.
I made all of Valentine's Day about loving me. Yeah, I realized I give out enough love and patience, and heaven knows money, on the daily. So, I decided to make this one day about me.
I bought more expensive shower soap than I am used to buying. It was French; a new poofy-netty-fluffy-scrubby things to use in the shower; and a four-in-one foot and heel scrubber, which was wishful thinking on my part, I didn't know how to use it; and read my Bible before stepping into the shower.
I stepped into the shower a refreshed man, spiritually, and had what are known as shower thoughts. I realized, that there were a lot of fundamentally wrong things about having a single day in your year where you are expected to show your undying love to a significant other, but not one holiday where you show love to yourself.
A day where you analyze and indulge in your own spectacularities, and check-in with how you are doing, and your own self-worth. As I scrubbed and dubbed in my own tub, I thought about the gifts I already have, my heart beat for one, and the ones I am sharpening just by attending college, like my mind. I didn't need chocolate.
In one shower I seemed to admit a lot of things to myself, about my weaknesses and hidden desires, one such being that I still wanted a relationship, but only to have someone to appreciate me for the things I give to the world. As I rinsed off my shame and insecurity about being single for Valentine's Day I decided, I would be that person for myself this year.
Must've been some good shower soap, right?